Frustrations

I am a public school teacher, and I am frustrated. I am frustrated with the state making cuts and demanding more tests. I am frustrated with focusing on essential knowledge versus essential understandings because last time I checked, learning was essential. I'm frustrated with the amount of pressure I feel at every corner I turn, every day, with every face I see. I am frustrated that I can't leave my job AT my job, that I think about what I need to do when I shower in the morning and before I go to bed at night. I'm frustrated that I feel like I'm no longer doing what I thought I was getting into, which was making students happy when they read. I'm frustrated when I'm surrounded by negativity. I'm frustrated that I'm a completely different person during the school year than I know I REALLY am. I'm frustrated with the coddling we're forced to do. I'm frustrated that failure isn't an option (because it's not for me). I'm frustrated that I'm forced to care about test scores and graduation rates and diploma types when honestly, I don't give a shit about any of that.

I'm there for my students. My students who are crying over boys and girls. My students who are hungry. My students who want to learn, but are faced with difficulties I cannot imagine facing every damn day. My students who want to learn for the sake of learning. My students who are so smart, but can't afford to continue their education. My students from broken homes. My students who see me as one of the only positives in their lives. My students who bring me fresh flowers from their yards. My students who make me laugh so hard I actually cry during class. And yes, even the students who make me wish the bell would ring sooner. They are my priority.

I need to be at my best for them, day in and day out. And when you have all of those frustrations weighing on you, it's hard to be at your best. It's hard to be cheerful or know the perfect thing to say to the student who is having just as bad a day as you are. It's hard when the frivolities get in the way. It's hard when I don't have time to do the work I need to do because I'm forced to do so many other things, to wear so many other hats that I never thought I'd be forced to wear.

The rewards are great. I know I'm in a noble profession. I know I didn't go into this just so I could say I'm in a noble profession. I know I'm not the only teacher who feels this way. But until some serious changes take place in education, a summer off and two weeks at Christmas are not enough of a reward.

Tina's Cream Puff Dessert

Before I got married, at my bridal shower, my mother gave me a recipe book, and she asked guests to write their favorite recipes on a card so I could have a decent cooking resource. In it, she included a recipe in my grandmother's own handwriting for a sweet and sour coleslaw (my bubba had already passed at this point, so to have something -- anything -- in her handwriting made me incredibly happy). She also included a recipe for a cream puff dessert. These are not individual cream puffs, but cookie sheet worth of fluffy pastry topped with creamy goodness. Of all of Mom's delicious recipes, this was the one she decided to include, and I'm so glad she did (It's even complete with a little heart where the "o" should be in "Mom").

I took this dessert to a lovely afternoon get-together, and per many requests, here is the recipe, copied word-for-word as Mom wrote it.

Cream Puff Dessert

Dough: 1 cup water, 1/2 cup margarine, 1 cup flour, 1/4 tsp. salt, 4 eggs

Heat water & marg to boiling & marg is melted. All at once add flour & salt. Stir till mixture forms a ball & leaves sides of pan. Cool slightly, add 1 egg at a time, mix well, add another egg & repeat till all 4 are mixed. Using a knife spread evenly in a 10x15 pan. Bake 400 [degrees] for 25-30 mins. Remove from oven, pierce bubbles & press down leaving crust around edges. Cool completely.

Filling: 2 pkgs (3 oz size) instant vanilla pudding, 2 1/2 cups cold milk, 8 oz cream cheese

Mix pudding w/milk, add cream cheese, beat 2-3 mins with mixer. Pour over baked shell. Top w/8 oz Cool Whip. Chill.

Drizzle Smuckers MagicShell chocolate sauce over top, it forms a hard chocolate topping. Be creative with it. Keep dessert chilled till ready to serve.

I've made this dessert a few times (I've eaten it COUNTLESS times), and it's always a hit. Be sure the Cool Whip isn't frozen and the dessert has time to chill before serving. Also, I learned today there is a difference between cook and serve Jell-O pudding and instant Jell-O pudding. Trust me, you want to use the instant pudding.

Enjoy!

Springing forward

My birthday weekend getaway was nothing short of delightful! Great hotel (complete with wine and Georgetown Cupcakes upon check-in), delicious food and drink (and there was no shortage of either), and lots of enjoyable time shopping and wandering. It was exactly what I wanted my birthday to be like and nothing disappointed. I also managed to get the manicure and see all the movies before everything was through, too.

The awesome continues, as does March. So far, it has brought:

• a few hangovers
• the return of Sidney Crosby (and Sexhair!)
• March Madness and my bracket (unfortunately, my 'Hoos bowed out during their first game; so did the Mountaineers and I'd be more upset about them if I actually liked their coach even the slightest bit, but since I don't, I'm not shedding any tears)
• 80-degree weather in the Blue Ridge a week after a few inches of snow
• a pretty, flower-filled drive to work
• open windows in the house
• lighter, more vegetarian meals
• sexy dresses and purses and shoes
• new glasses!
• wine-induced hilarity
• a desire to complete major home projects and plan this year's garden
• finally rereading The Hunger Games

Here's hoping the rest of the month is just as good!

Top Five Favorite-Can't-Put-it-Down Reads

Gretchen (@gretchen_stone), one of my long-time friends from my college days, is full of fabulous words and ideas and might have an obsession with shoes. She's great for an absurd discussion, but is also an intellectual. It was all her idea for this post, and I loved the suggestion! She's now hired as my post idea generator.

Without further ado, my top five favorite books I just can't put down.

5. Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer

It should come as no surprise that I'd have at least one piece of nonfiction on this list. What was so captivating about this book is that the crime is real, because you cannot imagine something so gruesome happening to someone. It provided a very thorough history of the Mormon faith, and the language was accessible, but not condescending.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

It was difficult to choose between the finale and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. But I've read and reread about the Deathly Hallows more than any other book in the series, I think because it seems more...complete than the others. Yes, you need the other six to completely understand all the references at the end, but HP7 so fully embraces friendship, trust, faith, hope, violence, and love that I think it's enough to stand on its own. I can't forget my 14-hour reading marathon finishing it in one sitting and the tears, laughs, and gasps as I turned the pages.

3. Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser

Ah, the book that changed my eating habits for life. This book will gross you out, as it should, but if it means never eating McDonalds again, I can't think of anything better. It's a must-read if you care AT ALL about what you put in your body.

2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I have a slight obsession with Holocaust literature, but this is the story that made me sob uncontrollably. However, these were happy sobs and the tears still come every time I read it.

1. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

If I had to be stranded on an island with only one book, this is the one I'd want, hands-down. I could never tire of Ms. Lee's moving story about a child's loss of innocence and a man taking up for his fellow man. It's beautiful.

That's it! What would be on your top five list if you had to choose?

One Week

I have one week left in my 20s. And I'm not freaking out. I'm not sad. I'm not feeling down about what I've done and what I haven't done in life yet. I'm more concerned with getting all of my work done for the week so I can completely enjoy my upcoming long (surprise!) weekend.

I don't think there's a point about dwelling on what I've done/haven't done in my 20s. I'm pretty damn happy with my life and I don't regret anything except never taking dance lessons when I was younger. I've traveled. I've played. I've received a quality education and become a professional. And I know that my next decade will bring more traveling, more playing, and (perhaps) more changes in my career and education. And this is enough for me, but I'm not settling, either. I think #30daysofawesome is going to turn into #30yearsofawesome.

Speaking of #30daysofawesome, here's an update:

• I've pampered myself with a delicious order from Lush and have spent many a night detoxing from the day surrounded by bubbles and steam from the tub.
• I began learning Spanish with some excellent CDs. I believe I'll be conversational and able to get by in Spain by this time next year!
• I've finished reading Delirium, but not Jayber Crow. With that said, I'll finish The Marriage Plot today. Mr. Berry's book is beautiful, but I can only read so much of it at a time before I fall asleep.
• Guilty-pleasure food and TV existed, but not as much as I wanted.
• I've swam, but not attended any yoga classes.
• I got my first (mild) concussion. It's not fun. It's a good thing I saved that ice wrap from when my wisdom teeth were removed, because I spent last week icing the back of my head. This happened during curling, by the way. There go my Olympic dreams.
• There were no movies yet or manicures. This needs to change.
• I FINALLY had a snow day and the best Valentine's Day gift of an impromptu ski trip. Dinner at a new (to us) restaurant followed our skiing, and it was DELISH. Seriously, central Virginia has some food gems in the middle of nowhere.

Last week of my 20s? BRING IT.

Why I'm a Winter Girl

Everybody has a favorite season, a particular time of the year when they just shine. They spend the other three-quarters of the year pleading for that favorite season to come around again. Spring is beautiful to me. It brings dogwoods in bloom, my anniversary, and the start of flower and vegetable gardening, both of which I love. Summer means roof-top poolside with a book and endless opportunities to travel. Fall used to be my favorite season because of sweaters, warm drinks, crisp air, and football, but it's just too sad for me now, no matter how much I try to indulge (and overindulge) in my favorite things. I like little things about each season, but I've always had a love affair with winter.

Winter and snow, to me, are romantic and fascinating. I love bundling up in my warmest clothes under blankets, feeling so cozy and safe while the wind make the snow swirl on the ground and in the air. There's always that shock factor of just how cold it is when you walk out the door; if you're feeling groggy, you immediately wake up when you step outside. Boots always made me feel bigger and tougher, stomping through snow and slush puddles. After a big snow and the sun peeks out, I love the almost-unbearable brightness and how everything just sparkles. Snow is pure and clean and makes the rest of the grit-covered world beautiful once again.

Winter brings intense, snowy weather events. I remember the ice storm of the late 80s in the Fayettenam, when we lost power for days and my dad cooked my favorite soup in a pot on top of our wood burner in the basement. I remember the Pittsburgh snowstorms of the early 90s. I remember the snow was so deep that PennDOT trucks couldn't get through, and instead heavy machinery had to clear our roads. I remember the snow drifts being about 13-feet high. I also remember the snow drifts being so deep I could walk on top of them and not fall through. I remember sledding and tubing in my backyard (with a perfect hill for sledding) with my parents and laughing hysterically when they would flip out and fly through the air. I remember making huge batches of hot chocolate and being allowed to let the cats inside because it was too cold for them to be out.

Winter and snow means winter sports. Once I learned to ski in 1996, winter quickly became better than any other season ever could. I love skiing so much (I'm sure Mom & Dad were glad, too, after shelling out $$$ on all new equipment before I even hit the slopes) and I'm thrilled it's something the Best Husband Ever and I enjoy doing together, even if he's much faster than I am. I love the cold, the sound my skis make while making sharp turns, the thrill of mastering a tough slope, not falling often but laughing hysterically when I do, and rushing to get in just one more run before closing. I don't participate in many sports, but skiing is something I could do all the time, if only it was winter all the time.

Finally, winter and snow means being snowed in and not going to school or work. When I was a kid, the joke was always "Welcome to Pennsylvania: Two hour delay, no morning kindergarten." In college, I think classes were cancelled once, maybe? I do remember being stuck at a Hampton Inn after a weekend away. I love being snowed in, but not by myself in a hotel off the interstate for two days. I racked up an astronomical cell phone bill and I've never watched so much CNN in my life. But being snowed in as an adult is rather enjoyable. There is plenty of time to read, snuggle, and walk around the city to find an open (and warm) restaurant. There is time to throw the very indoor cat in the snow just to see what she does (answer: FREAK OUT). There is time to shovel driveways and make soup and nap. Snow days are lazy and rejuvenating, and everyone needs one once in a while.

So you can keep your heat, your spring showers, and your colorful leaves. I only want winter and that cozy feeling I get when I see those big, beautiful flakes fall.

#30daysofawesome

Kudos to one of my oldest and bestest friends for coming up with this BRILLIANT idea: 30 days before your thirtieth birthday, you need to start doing one awesome thing each day. Because our 20s are fleeting, there is a need to make the best of them before our next decade arrives. Now from what I've heard, 30 is great and I have no reason to fear it (and I won't wear black unless, like my favorite British friend, it's a hot new little black dress). But still, there is a need to make 29 go out with a bang!

29: It's not just a highway in Virginia.

So I've been thinking of what #30daysofawesome will include. Keep in mind that my definition of awesome probably differs from everyone else's. And I want all 30 days to be full of awesome, even if some days are repeats. For instance, last night was awesome because of the fun dinner and drinks with friends, followed by a relaxing bath and fizzy bath bomb from Lush. I'm of the impression that EVERYBODY needs more Lush in their lives, so it's okay if I do this at least three more times. It's my #30daysofawesome and I said so. Also allowed are some of the plans I need to do, but am so excited about them that they fall under this category.

#30daysofawesome means becoming an Olympic hopeful.

Just kidding.

#30daysofawesome shall include (but is not limited to) the following:

• More Lush bath bombs for pampering
• Learning Spanish (a necessity since my travels will take me there in 2013)
• Finishing at least two books I've started (Jayber Crow and Delirium)
• While my husband is at the HIMSS conference, the cat and I will be at HERSS. This includes lots of Polish/Slovak food, like my grandmother's recipe for chicken paprikash, and plenty of guilty-pleasure TV (probably rewatching all of Downton Abbey).
• Swimming (regularly)
• Yoga (somewhat regularly)
• Seeing The Descendants and The Artist in the theatres
• A desperately needed manicure
• Eating out at new restaurants the husband and I both deem worthy to be open for business (we're food snobs, so this is easier said than done).
• More curling victories (gooooo team Sweeping Beauties!) and me scoring more points with my fancy skills
• A snow day
• A weekend getaway to my favorite American big city, with a surprise itinerary!

Today's #30daysofawesome? A long-overdue massage and dinner at a C-ville establishment. Not a shabby way to begin saying adios to my 20s! If you have any suggestions for what else to include in my list, please let me know. I'm game for anything!