Tonight, she started off by apologizing for putting herself in the comments on our papers. Instead of making general comments about what we said, she instead would say, "I love this!!!" or "I agree with what you're saying..." Maybe it's in our nature to insert ourselves when we should really be focusing on YOU (whoever "you" may be). But, taking the attention away from ourselves is something we could probably all strive to improve upon.
Our conversation then evolved to giving compliments and saying thanks. Our general consensus was that it's much easier for men to receive compliments than women. Those little bantams will just puff out their chests and have no shame in detailing how hard they worked to achieve whatever it was they received the compliment on in the first place. Is this true for all men? Certainly not. The men in my life are quite humble. But we've all known our fair share who are not, I'm sure. As for the ladies, it's harder for us to simply receive a compliment. You like my sweater? Oh please, it's so old and can't you tell it's faded? My hair looks good today? Surely, you jest; it needs conditioner desperately. What I said at the meeting was really on point and needed to be addressed? *shrugs shoulders* Whatever. LADIES! Why is it so damn difficult for us to just say, "Thank you!" ?
Are we trying (rather unsuccessfully) to be modest? Do we not deserve such praise? Is it a geographical issue (in other words, do women in the South tend to brush off compliments more than northerners?)? This is something I've thought about all night since we had the discussion! The reality of it is, I find myself doing exactly what I'm describing. ALL.THE.TIME. This same darling professor took the time to e-mail me and compliment my scarf and colors last week and I nearly spazzed out, thinking she was out of her mind and that nobody could really be that nice. And I'm not joking when I say it took me longer than usual to respond to her e-mail to thank her. Do I brush it off? (No, she admitted to making a specific effort to tell me how great the colors looked on me.) Do I tell her where I found the scarf? (No, she doesn't care that much.) What to do?! Tonight, we were throwing compliments to each other left and right, and I think we really had to practice listening to what the person was saying and simply respond "thank you." It's harder to do than it sounds.
Thankfully, she shared this bit of wisdom: When you put down or brush off the compliment, you are doing the same thing to the person giving the compliment, insinuating that what they say doesn't matter. It does. So ladies, the next time someone tells you that your shoes are incredible or that your house looks really put together, bite your tongue. Don't argue. Just smile and say, "Thank you!" This time, mean it.
Not me -- I love a compliment so much that the minister performing our wedding ceremony actually mentioned it. Kinda mortifying. What class are you taking and with whom?
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